Friends

I'm writing typing this today so I can remember it. This is gonna be an even more personal post than ever, related to my relationship, so if you're not exactly in the mood for a bit of Thought Catalog-esque writing right now don't say I didn't warn you xD

Last night you initiated bed talk again. That's when we just talk about how things are with us right before we go to sleep, and although most times it makes me cry because talking about emotional stuff just does that to me (and I need to stop being such a sad sap), I actually really like it. I don't really hear many cases of guys who take the initiative to check in on their relationships by doing nothing but talk with their S.Os while in bed with them, and I really, deeply appreciate that.

And when he starts things off with an apology over something that we got into a heated discussion over a couple days ago? Can't stay mad at the man riiiight. So when you asked me if things are unfair, I said that it'd be too tiring if we just kept keeping count of things one did do or didn't do, and that it'd be easier (and possibly happier) to just go with how one feels now. And I meant it. I know that things are still deeply flawed, but it looks like we're going to ride the waves together for at least a little while longer, and all I can hope is that I can be less than a Class A bitch for the rest of it. I hope I can be a better partner.

Then you talked about us being friends, and that's the part I want to remember the most. Because even though I've always had the impression that you are one of my closest friends, nothing tops the object of your affections echoing your sentiments.  You said that you're really glad we have a good friendship going on. "I guess that means I'm Best Friend No.2 huh." you told me, not forgetting to leave room for my best girl-friend. I told you I liked that, which was basically just scratching the surface of my feelings. After that, you said that it'd be a shame for all this trust that we built up, this connection we made to just go away if we break up. All this time I've always been averse to the idea of staying friends after the separation, but now that I see you coming from this perspective it makes more sense. I agree it'd be a shame too, but it all depends on how bad/amicable/non-disastrous the breakup will be. If it is terrible, it might even take a few years, I said to you. I hope that's okay.

Until then, I'm just so happy we can lean on each other in more ways than one. There is nothing more you can really ask for than the person who makes you happiest being your confidante and shoulder to cry on, and for all the times distance became a factor for my girl friends and I, I thank you for giving me a safety net to fall on. I also really hope you see me the same way, and that you feel as free to talk to me about anything as I do. I can't speak for the future, near or far, but you can be sure that the friend you have now in me, is here for you.

The Golden Voice of Charlie Puth

Well, today's a day in for me because (possibly) due to sushi I kept too long and did not eat with wasabi, I have developed a major case of HIVES and my face swelled up and you really didn't need to know any of that but yeah.

On one hand, I get to take a day off. On the other hand, I hope this goes away soon so I don't have to keep stressing out about this. Since I've got nothing but time today...

I've had more time than ever to squander spend on discovering more of the HEAVEN SENT VOICE that is Charlie Puth's.

Now would be a really good time to put in a disclaimer. I am just going to type out how I feel here regardless of how juvenile or 'high school' it's going to sound, because honesty. And because deep down I really feel like someone like Charlie is worth shouting from the rooftops for. So, if at any point you get creeped out or annoyed by how fangirl-y this all is, just know that you have been forewarned. NOW ON WITH THE PARADE.

HELLO REALLY BAD PAINT JOB

You probably already know him as the singer of the emotional hook in the Furious 7 unofficial theme song 'See You Again', which also features rapping by Wiz Khalifa BUT HE IS NOT WHO I WANT TO TALK ABOUT TODAY SORRY WIZ.

As you can tell, he looks absolutely out of this world and he sings like a dream too. I know of quite a few Youtubers but I actually had no clue as to how big his presence on there was until I went a-seatching and it was like HOMG HE HAS SO MANY COVERS AND THEY ALL SOUND SO GODLY *ERUPTS INTO MASS FLAMES OF FANGIRLISM*

Excuse me. 

He's not just a pretty face who can sing too. He beatboxes and apparently produces the tracks for his covers as well, and the best part is he almost always doess justice to them. I'd even go as far as to say he elevates them, because he makes em his own. It's just a shame he deleted (or privatised?) most of the covers and originals he put up on Youtube, based on what I read in many a comment section, due to him signing with a major label or something. I don't think it's something he wanted to do, but possibly something that his management asked of him. We'll never really know the reason why, but thankfully many of them are still floating around on Youtube, so if you're a newly converted rabid fangirl like me you are SUREEE to find them. 

Also I need him to do a showcase in Malaysia so badly so I can kidnap him  I can hear that voice of his live. That's the only reason why ;) 

If this post got you excited about Charlie in any way at all, here are a few covers and originals I've heard from him so far that I think really demonstrate his versatility and vocal prowess. He also just released an EP titled Some Kind Of Love recently and I love love it, of course. One of my faves is this. 

Did I mention his falsetto makes you FEEL THINGS. How can anyone not look at that face of his and hear him and not absolutely melt into a pile of undecipherable goo. 

This is also one of the newer works from him which features the very beautiful Meghan Trainor. [SPOILER ALERT] they get to kiss at the end. NOT COOL MEGHAN.

Even though it's no fault of mine, I apologise for the lack of high resolution options for this vid. This is particularly important because this is THE cover that got Ellen (yes Degeneres)'s attention and got her to sign them to her label. Also irrationally jealous of Emily because she got to work with Charlie on an Adele ballad SIGH.

This is the cover that catalysed my quest for all the other covers. I swear this is like a Pokemon catching quest. A good friend of mine rightly pointed out that this song is notoriously hard to sing, and for a male vocalist to pull it off so spectacularly is even more impressive. 

In case you can't tell yet, Charlie Puth is a star y'all. I'm sure many of his Youtube fans who were there with him since the beginning must feel kinda sad that he is no longer their well kept little secret, and with See You Again and his EP his profile is bound to rise in a huge way. But really, I hope great things for this guy. He's brilliant and the world needs to listen up. KBAI END OF FANGIRL POST.

An End and A Beginning

As expected, time has passed pretty fast while I'm back home and now I'm already onto the last night of my long weekend break. It's been both a relaxing and thought provoking trip, because while I've had enough time to chill out and really not worry about work for a while (that's all gonna change tomorrow though >.<), I've also taken these past few days to think about what I really wanna do.

In a way, this year has been an accumulation of thoughts leading up to where I am now. While I seem to be cruising along just fine in my role as a magazine writer, deep down I'm beginning to seriously yearn for something more. Maybe it's just that cliched youthful restless spirit, that doomed inclination to 'try new things', but one simply has to try to know, right? I can't say what is next for me here right now, not because I don't have an idea, but because I want to make sure that something will be happening before I announce anything, even if no one I know reads this xD

All I will say is, with all the crap I've been facing at the workplace, with unreasonable, over the top, old-fashioned superiors, a salary which only seems to get me by, and hours of being stuck in traffic jams, I've just really been looking for a way to break out. I know lots of people around me are going to say that's just how it is. You're bound to meet crazy-ass bosses, and you're only going to get paid a lot for work that you will have to slog day and night for, and traffic jams are something that everyone has to go through anyway. Well, like it or not, the current me is rejecting all of that. I'm ready to face both the naysayers and the well-meaning friends and relatives. Because what if I don't want to spend a day longer being miserable under such circumstances? Life is unbearably short, and if you knew you were to die tomorrow, I'd bet you wish you had left your dead-end job a day sooner if only to spend more time with your loved ones and do more of what you love. 

I'm not saying that what I'm doing next will take me away from the 9-5 forever, though. There's every chance that the direction I'm taking will fail spectacularly, and one day in the not so distant future I may be so low on funds that I'll take the next available job opening just to survive again. Perhaps, even with the new efforts taking off, I might still crave the stability of an office job and return to it. I'm prepared for all that too. I know that, being new to this industry, I won't be able to anticipate every hurdle and doubt and source of stress ahead, but I just want to say, I'm ready. 

Any excuse to use a Loki/Hiddles GIF, amirite guys? 

Perhaps due to my relative lack of knowledge about what I'm about to go through with, I'm a lot less fazed than I should be. I'm worried that things are not gonna work out, sure, but I plan to just use that fear as a fuel to keep me going and keep on doing what I plan to. Truth is, I'm really more concerned about one of the steps in the plan that's going to keep me here for a couple months. 

Thing is, that step is gonna put me back at home, where I am right now, so that I can learn some tricks of the trade, or just more about the trade really, until I can get used to it and know it well enough to execute my plans better. It's funny how I've been wanting to come back here so badly for a longer time for the past few months, and now that I have, my mind has cleared up: I don't really want to. Yes, I would still want to go back every now and then to see my loved ones again and get reacquainted with what I love most about home, but with the way things are now in PJ where I live most of the time, I still prefer being nearer to my SO. So much so that it's honestly depressing -_- I don't want to be so dependant on another person. I guess that makes my decision to come back here all the better then. If we're meant to go the distance, a few months won't make a permanent dent. It might even be good timing, what with his demanding studies. I'd just have to give up the weekend visits for a while, and take things one week at a time. I know it's what I have to do. 

Alright, that's enough thought churning from me for one night. Hope to update you guys soon, whoever you are, and wish me luck for what's about to come next! Good night sweet peas.

This GIF from oh-totoro is so lovingly drawn. I wish I could snuggle up to someone like that too right now T.T